Last week I spend a week and a half in New York again. Clint and I travelled there for a conference and I spent a few days before that with Vern to work on a new musical that we are developing. I did notice how different this trip felt to previous months. Life almost felt normal again. I was able to eat most things (although my mouth still hurts at times and I have to drink a lot of water while I eat) and I had the physical and emotional strength to be active for most of the day. I did notice a deep sadness at times that wasn't necessarily uncomfortable but certainly present. I think it is fair to say that the last 10 month of my life have hurt me deeply. I experience that as a different sensation than depression. In a strange way it almost feels comforting at times. I have a certain pride to have lived through these terrible times.
I also have been back at work for the last month. That pretty much feels normal by now.
I have my next scan coming up this Saturday. I am a little bit nervous about it but I decided to look at these scans as my friends. After all their purpose is to prevent or discover future problems.
Life is easier these days and I am grateful for it.
