I was pretty anxious in the few days leading up to that meeting. Seeing that I felt so good over the last week I was concerned that I maybe didn't get enough chemo (a theme that seems not to go away in my mind), that led to a fear that the team of physicians might not know what they're doing, etc. I was also a bit worried that they might have found something new on the scan and that the cancer spread over the last couple of months.
The meeting turned out to be great. First of all, there were no new discoveries; in fact the cancer was hidden by the many metal fillings in my teeth, so they couldn't really tell what size it was at the moment. By looking at it and by using my lack of pain as an indication, it seemed to be shrinking. My white blood cell level was way down and it became clear that any more chemo would have jeopardized the treatment that is to come. So, they were right to use the dosages they used. When you have to trust somebody potentially with your life it feels extremely good to get the sense that they are in control of the situation. With regards to the treatment that will begin on Tuesday I was informed that I would get a day of chemo every two weeks. That drug, unlike the ones I have gotten so far, would be highly toxic and I was promised that I wouldn't be 'short changed' with regards to unpleasant side effects. Apparently it is know to be hard on one's system. Well, I asked for it...
At the end Dr. Maksymiak elaborated a bit on the fact that things were looking up for the moment. The induction chemo seemed to have done its job and he is hopeful that the actual treatment of radiation and chemo will show good results.
After leaving the meeting a cried for a while while walking through the hallway. Tears of relief, though. No new bad news and a lot of hope.
Now I brace myself for Tuesday.