Sunday, July 5, 2009

Worries And Birthdays

Yesterday afternoon I started to worry. My mouth started to hurt a bit again and the cancer seemed larger to me as well. As I went for a run I obsessed about the fact that I was doing so well physically. "Shouldn't I be sicker by now?" I asked myself "Maybe they didn't give me enough of the chemo drugs? Maybe the wrong ones? How come they haven't checked up on me by now? How come I still have my hair?" etc, etc. Today I got up and my mind kept torturing me with the same worries. My next appointment will be this Thursday and I can't wait...

On the brighter side I celebrated two birthdays with friends today.

First, Angela and I visited Peter, Tara and Mila to celebrate Mila's 5th birthday. 5 years already. She truly has turned into a beautiful and wonderful person. Happy birthday Mila!
Then I got together with Kevin for supper and we celebrated his belated 37th birthday. As always I had a great time hanging out with him. I always felt that Kevin and I had a special connection as we share a lot of the same personality trades and he very much identifies with most of my thought patterns and vice versa. He is also a great listener and I couldn't resist to share my joys and struggles with him. Even though it was his birthday dinner we ended up talking about my views of death for a most of the time.
Way to bring the party down, Olaf. Happy birthday, buddy.


Laura said...

Just a reminder, if you and Angela need to be distracted sometime (maybe to help keep your mind off being worried) you're welcome at the pool anytime. We don't need to be here and it's vacant much of the time.

I DO think you'll feel better on Thursday when the action starts again.

Sue Burns said...

Please try not to worry so much that you loose sight of hope. Keep being stubborn Olaf. Great to see you smiling! (Even with a camera in front of your face I still recognize you Laura ;-)

Joy Prime said...

Hi Olaf - I've been following your blog every day, and I wanted to thank you for opening your heart and sharing your journey with all of us.
However - I'd like to comment on your comment about bringing down Kevin's birthday - even though I only met you and Kevin last November, if I know Kevin even a little, I think it's pretty safe to say that you didn't bring his birthday down at all. Because the best present he had was sharing it with you. :)
Hugs from Steve & I - I'm flitting back & forth to Ontario this summer/fall, so I've been sending you thoughts and prayers from afar.

Wendy Broadfoot said...

Hi Olaf,
My husband, Ken and I just returned from a 3 week holiday to San Francisco with our daughter, her husband and new 5 month old baby, so just got to read your blog. How wonderful to be able to share in your journey--your honesty is very inspiring. I know that we haven't been friends for a very long time, but I want you to know that I feel honoured to have been included on your list and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Keep up the fight---it is all in the attitude!
Wendy Broadfoot

gina said...

And I thought Kevin said he was turning 23!?!? It was great to see you yesterday, Olaf. :-) Are you going to be joining us for sushi on Wednesday, or is Ang setting the parameters at girls only? (tee hee)

Anonymous said...

Na na na, wer wird sich denn davon unterkriegen lassen ;) Geht ja übermorgen in die nächste Runde, dann kriegt der olle Tumor erstmal wieder einen auf den Sack! Übrigens hab ich jetzt Neurodermitis :( Hab dich lieb!