Wednesday, February 17, 2010

There But For The Grace Of God Go I

Last week I spend a week and a half in New York again. Clint and I travelled there for a conference and I spent a few days before that with Vern to work on a new musical that we are developing. I did notice how different this trip felt to previous months. Life almost felt normal again. I was able to eat most things (although my mouth still hurts at times and I have to drink a lot of water while I eat) and I had the physical and emotional strength to be active for most of the day. I did notice a deep sadness at times that wasn't necessarily uncomfortable but certainly present. I think it is fair to say that the last 10 month of my life have hurt me deeply. I experience that as a different sensation than depression. In a strange way it almost feels comforting at times. I have a certain pride to have lived through these terrible times.
I also have been back at work for the last month. That pretty much feels normal by now.

I have my next scan coming up this Saturday. I am a little bit nervous about it but I decided to look at these scans as my friends. After all their purpose is to prevent or discover future problems.

Life is easier these days and I am grateful for it.


Anonymous said...

Hi olaf - das ist ein guter weg und die wahrheit: Die scans schützen Dich !
Heute habe ich einen coolen song gehört , Ein gewisser Bob Chisulm sagte ständig: "Thank you Thank You............."
Ich schließe mich ihm an !
:-) tiko

Sue Burns said...

I'm so glad to hear you're doing better Olaf and look forward to seeing you at the studio soon!

Laura said...

I GUESS you should have some pride to have lived so courageously through such a challenging time. Most of us (thank goodness and touch wood) will never have the experience that you have had. Most of us will never personally feel all the physical and mental pain and suffering. I do believe that time is a great healer. But of the fact that you will be forever changed there can be no doubt.

You have also had the gift of the exposure of the deep and abiding love your friends and family feel for you. I hope that feeling sustains you in those moments where you feel insecure or nervous.

We all treasure you and are so grateful for your courage and your ongoing positive results.

xxxxxxxxxxx Be well my friend.