Mood: My depression is still here, no question. But I do have good days in between the bad ones. Today was a good one. Yesterday was a bad one. We'll see what tomorrow will bring. My hope is that there will be slowly more good times than bad ones.
One of the reasons for my dark moods is my fear about the status of my tumour in my tongue. Even though it has gotten smaller it is definitely still there. I constantly think about it and get scared that it might not go away. I am trying really had to put these thoughts out of my head and focus on the recovery instead.
Food: I have to learn how to swallow again. So far I have succeeded with liquids. I do have one or two beer in the evening, my morning coffee and some pop and tea during the day. I also drink the occasional Boost instead of tube feeding. More solid food provide a challenge. This morning Angela made me some scrambled eggs and I ate most of it with some struggle. Small steps.
Physical: I am now down to about 171 lbs. That's 35 less than when I started. A lot of that is loss of muscle mass so I am slowly trying to get some exercise into my day. Today I walked to Advance Electronics and back. That's about 2 miles or 40 minutes. I had no trouble doing that and felt rather please with myself. Hopefully I will find the emotional strength to do something like that every day.
Overall it is clear that things are slowly improving. Hopefully it will continue to do so.